Severing Control to Find Paradise
I participated in the protest yesterday for the #HandsOff movement along with millions of others across the county and globe. Besides the clever signs (one of my favorites was “This Admin is Coup Coup.” 😅), what stood out to me was a common theme—something that both parties are fighting for and against:
Control and Freedom
You can also see this tug of war playing out in popular TV shows right now (see below). And you might also notice these themes showing up in your personal relationships.
If I can just get x (control), then I’ll be happy (free).
If he/she would stop doing x (control), then I’ll be happy (free).
We often seek to control others in order to find happiness. If he would just take more responsibility around the house, I could have more time to do x and thus be happy. If she would stop nagging me so much, then I would be happy in our relationship. These examples are oversimplifications. Feel free to insert your own dialogue for effect.
The phrase, Hands Off, implies “stop controlling us.” This is a similar message that the freedom-seeking patriots on the right have been espousing for years. Both sides feel controlled by the other at the expense of their personal freedoms.
Control and Freedom are the flip sides of the same coin.
The unfortunate dynamic is that one side is being controlled by the jail keeper who they see as holding the key not realizing it’s he who keeps them imprisoned. To gain some sense of control, they seek to control the rights of others. Meanwhile, we are all collectively at the peril of nature’s control.
We equate happiness with freedom. The question is even if all the conditions in your life were what you consider to be picture perfect, would you be happy?
You probably answer yes. It’s alluring to think so. It keeps us seeking for that illusive paradise, for better or worse. I’m right there with you.
But what if we have to attain true happiness—freedom within—in order for those picture perfect things to fall into place?
Here are some suggestions to get us there:
Law of Karma: Injecting negativity, or harming others, will only come back at you in some way, even if you’re doing it in the name of freedom (See Temptation Island example below). And as difficult as it may be right now, do not wish harm—even in your thoughts—onto others. You are only hurting yourself. When you try to control others, it will come back to imprison you.
Allow Others to Be Free: This one’s hard in relationships, but the more freedom you give others, the more freedom you will experience.
Find Freedom Within Yourself: Our own mind control is the prison in which we’re all trapped. We have few places of true control and that is our mind, our body (except women in some cases 🫤), and our home (for those who have a home). Focus on taking care of these areas as best you can. When you feel free regardless of people and situations, only then can you attain true happiness.
When we can settle these themes within ourselves, perhaps they will not have to play out on a national or global level 🤞.
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” —Albert Camus
As always, thank you for reading.
Tisha
📺 On Screen
Severance on Apple TV: I’m only in Season One, but far enough in to know that this show is about Control vs. Freedom. What better place to explore this theme than the workplace. Gone are the day of The Office, well actually you can catch those reruns on Peacock.
Paradise on Hulu: This show hooked me quick. Silo meets This is Us. Dang. It’s a worse case scenario of where we’re headed as it plays out in the context of geopolitics and climate change. Well maybe not worse-case, that’s over at the Silo.
White Lotus on Max: I won’t go through all the story lines here, but you can see the themes of control and freedom play out within most all the interpersonal relationships. Easier to see on screen than in the mirror 😉
Temptation Island on Netflix: And now we can see the same themes in an unscripted version. The storyline that catches my attention the most is the one guy who played out seeking freedom to the fullest (in a threesome) and ended up in a self-inflicted prison showing us the true cost of the karma when your actions hurt someone you love.