Still Life Ahead

We all remember the shock in 2016. We thought we were prepared this time in the event of a repeat. But we weren’t, this time was different.

I’m reminded there is no such thing as pre-grieving. Before my dad passed, I thought I had worked through some of the grief since he had a terminal illness. After he passed, I realized my pre-grieving had been of no use, nothing compares to the reality of when death happens.

At 10:00 pm this last Tuesday night, as I stared at the TV, I felt a familiar chill and began sobbing, not in fear, not in defeat, but in utter loss of the good that was to come with electing our first female president.

The last time I felt this was the night we lost our little girl to a stillbirth.

That might sound like an overly dramatic comparison, but the initial impact was the same series of emotions: when the expectation of joy, innocence, light, and love is suddenly replaced by darkness, loss, death, and a deep disappointment. Not just any disappointment, but soul level disappointment, the kind that colors the rest of your life.

This election result will impact all of us for the rest of our lives. Some of you are happy with what (you hope) is to come. But nonetheless all of our daily lives will change, for some for the better (perhaps), and others horrifically, not just in theory, but in reality.

There’s a reason we’re experiencing a collective grief.

That’s the word I hear over and over from others: grief. That’s different than 2016. Then, we were shocked and outraged. Now we are grief-stricken. We are bouncing between denial and bargaining, and will soon, if not already, enter the anger phase of the grief process.

Where do we go from here?

There’s a lot to do politically and socially in our local communities and states, but I want to address this question on a more personal level.

How do we get through what looks to be some dark days ahead?

The loss of our daughter was the last in a series of four deaths I experienced over five years. I’ve finished a memoir about that time, entitled Still Life (currently shopping it for publishing 🤞) Despite its serious theme, there’s a lot of humor and it will leave you feeling an endearing connection to loved ones, a deep sense of gratitude, and with the inspiration of synchronicity (that’s my pitch, at least:).

For some time, I went through an existential crisis of not believing in anything good. Through a lot of therapy and healing, I had to dig deep to recreate a framework of hope and vision. And then there was a moment in 2021, days before Christmas, as we were packing our house to move to Ojai, when that light came back on.

Here’s an excerpt:

A still life moment, I'd come to recognize. They're quiet, suspiciously subtle. It’s moments like this we must savor. Will another shoe drop at some point, of course. But I could see all the gifts in my life, as opposed to the losses. As Dove tossed his stuffed hedgehog in the air, a feeling of peace came over me like a long-lost friend coming to visit. Despite what might happen next, I could sit and be grateful for what was being gracefully bestowed upon me: peace, miracles, and blessings all around.

My hope is that you find those still life moments whenever possible during the days of light and shadow to come.

🩷 Tisha

p.s. If this post offends you in any way, I invite you to unsubscribe. You don’t even need to let me know. Thank you.

p.s.s. For those who know my wife who is an astrologer and psychic medium, please check out her upcoming course on the Shift Network about honing your intuition. There’s a free intro to the course here.